May

You keep hurting me over and over again with your words. You keep saying things that you aren't supposed to say. Yes, i know in reality you're not actually saying them out loud, but writing it so everyone can read is basically just the same as yelling for the whole world to hear.

If you hate me, tell me! If you think i'm insufferable, obnoxious, egoistic, snobbish, tell me! Don't go plastering your thoughts about me for everyone to see. It's not only immature but also very very hurtful. And if you do decide to tell me, and i feel deeply hurt by it, do not blame me. It's only natural that i act this way. It's only natural that I can't look you in the eyes, nor talk to you like I used to. How could I, when I used to look at you and see a friend when now i look at you and see someone i hardly recognize?

It's not that I'm being selfish. It's just how I reflexively try to protect myself. Don't be mad at me when i look away. Don't despise me when i go quiet in your presence. I still consider you a dear friend.

The best thing is to let my wounds heal first. It may take some time, but it will heal eventually. In the meantime, I ask for one thing and one thing only: Please do not hurt me anymore than what you've already done. I'm only human. I can only take so much.

And if i have ever wronged you in any way, from the bottom of my heart, I am sincerely sorry. I am not perfect. I have my flaws. Just know that I'm trying my hardest to scrape those flaws away and replace them with perfection, if that is what it takes to mend our broken friendship. So until I'm good enough to be your friend, let us not be enemies but merely two strangers yet to find that chain which links us.