Wake up!

I had once vowed not to write in anger.

But today, I will.

This morning I woke up to the news that the Freedom Flotilla humanitarian aid to Gaza had been attacked (read here). I can feel the anger bubbling within me when I read the news. It is anger so pure I doubt it can be tamed with a day of cooling off. I am so angry I can't stop crying.

And now, my anger is coupled with a horrible ache i feel deep within my chest. It is as if my heart is breaking with each piece of news i read. But this pained anger i feel is probably only a tenth of the pain my brothers and sisters in Palestine must be suffering each day of their lives.

Argh. The Zionist regime is an evil of magnanimous proportions. They are killing innocent people (aid workers, activists, etc) with the single motive of starving and killing other innocent people (the residents of Gaza). I can't even think of them as human. To me they are nothing more but animals. No wait, they are worse than animals. They are beings with no heart or conscience. They are filth so dirty that even thinking of them makes me want to shower 12 times a day. Ergh!




O Allah, 
Please alleviate the sufferings of our brothers and sisters in Palestine,
Give the highest ranks in the gardens of paradise to our Muslim martyrs,
And give strength and patience and hope to their widows, orphans, mothers and fathers.


O Allah, 
We have no power or strength except with You,
So aid us with aid from You,
And grant us victory over the unbelieving people.

Pixie dust~

The Mysterious Menlo Castle

Dangan River

For years, we walked along the river's edge looking longingly across to the other side of the divide. Horses, green green pasture and a large ruin from time long past looms enticingly like a silent invitation for adventure. We'd sit across from all this mystery, dipping our toes into the chilly water, and dreaming out loud about someday finding our way over. Sometimes, we would see a couple of young Irish men fishing, their dark silhouettes a stark contrast against the pale Galway skies.

I would yell in my not-so-accurate olden English:

"Ahoy people from the land afar. Thou art indeed there? We beseech thee, O Good Men, the way to your place~~~"

It seemed appropriate. To speak the language of Kings and Queens.

But those dark figures don't reply. And my voice, loud as it may be, gets carried away by the gentle wind of The Dangan River.

Someday. I tell myself.

Someday. I'll finally walk those grassy plains of wildflowers. 

Someday. I hoped with all my might.

Someday. I'll get to see the view from the other side.

Someday....

-------------------------------------------------------------

Believe it or not: That someday finally came!

Trudging through the path less taken.

The quiet serenity in the land of fairies and pixies.

And all the King's horses, and all the King's men,
Couldn't put Izzy back together again.

Where would our futures take us?

Easy does it.

Doorways, windows and a haunted castle. 

Say Cheese!

Tell me your secrets, and I'll tell you mine.

Smile with me, World.

(Disclaimer: All pictures are courtesy of my personal tour guide/ semi-pro photographer/ gossip buddy/ sports rival and recently crowned Doctor, Kak Farah the Great~~ )
*i hope you don't mind me using your awesome pics k.Farah. hehe*

Shhhh...

My dad says I should never write in anger.

That I should not say anything I will eventually regret. That I should keep my cool, and only tell my deepest darkest thoughts to those closest to me (by that, I'm sure he meant himself and mom).

So I'm not going to write in anger.

I will cool my head off before putting my thoughts into black and white, or grey or pink or whatever colour my blog holds. I will share my darkest thoughts only with those i trust.

I hope you do the same thing too.

Because honestly, your opinions don't really interest me.

So please, by all means, keep them to yourself.

p/s: Dad persuaded me to delete an angry post I wrote recently. I'm still a bit bitter about it.

Happy Sillly ^^

Okay.

So this is a video i made out of pure boredom, using clips from my trip to Brussels Belgium last Spring. It's a video of me and friends being silly, and having good fun. So if you're not in it, you probably won't understand what we're constantly laughing about, or why. I dare not post this video on facebook for fear of answering to the wrath of my travel buddies. But i think i'm fairly safe, both physically and emotionally, in posting it here. (hehe.. at least i hope so)

Enjoy~~~

p/s: Even with my amateur-ish editing skill, the video came out great. ne? d(^^)b

First impressions.

It's no secret.

I know what people think of me. Why wouldn't I know? Every time I ask, i get the same answer. Well, almost.

Cold.

Fierce.

Vicious.

Angry.

Stern.

Serious.

They may use different words but the overall meaning is still the same = I'm not a likable person. And even when I expect this answer from people, I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt just a little. Granted, most would usually have a different opinion after getting to know me, but still Ouch!

I'm not vicious, i want to tell them. You just don't know me well enough.

I'm not cold, i want to say. I just need a little time to warm up to people.

I'm not mean, i try to explain. Why don't we talk a little so you can see for yourself?

But what's the use of explaining? First impressions are first impressions. That's what they see, and that's what I probably am. Honestly, I don't know why I keep asking. Maybe deep down I kinda hope I'd get a different answer. Maybe I hope there's someone out there who sees me for who I really am regardless of how I look on the outset.

Maybe i hope too much.

Sigh~

p/s: Someone once said I was fierce just from watching me play low-quality basketball. So I'm posting a video of that, and you be the judge (Btw, I'm the tall girl in black who's scoring most of the goals *gloats*)

p/s: i can already sense some mean comments coming my way. hehehe.

What do you see...

...when you see me?

I've always wondered why people read this blog anyway. They must know I'm never really actually honest when I write. "So why do they?" is what i keep thinking (assuming of course that I indeed have a laudable fan-base and I'm not merely deluding myself into believing that my blog is somewhat popular).

Even with all my half-truths and sugar coated lies, people still seem to come. I mean, it's only natural that i try to paint a pretty picture of myself on my own blog. I'm the girl who never swears, never gets angry, the one who doesn't get frustrated with annoying people, who doesn't feel scared about failing exams, who doesn't get nervous when talking in front of a crowd, who doesn't feel hurt when she is ignored.

In my blog, I'm a package of everything sweet, and nice and perfect. In fact, I'm so perfect people may feel the urge to get to know me more. "Oh, who is this awesome person I'm reading about?" they might be thinking.

Good question!

Well, since you've asked so politely, I feel obliged to clue you in on the truth. You might want to hold on to your seat. This is truth beyond your wildest imaginations.

Ready?

Truth is, the author of this blog is fictional. *gasps*

She is a mere creation of one Izyan de' Nerd. Truth is, the real Izyan is the exact opposite of the sweet, perfect fictional Izyan. She is sometimes a very contemptible human being. The real Izyan is not perfect. She is not nice. And dear Lord, she has some deplorable habits *swallows a mouthful of cheesecake at 1 am*

So just in case you know me (the real Izyan) in person, and occasionally read my blog and find it amusing that the fictional Izyan is so different from the one you've come to know so well in real life, this is the reason.

And just in case you feel the urge to quote from my blog when talking to me, or make the silly assumption that the fictional Izyan and the real Izyan are one and the same person, don't! You'll only make a big fool of yourself. And the real Izyan, contemptible as she is, will look down at you for doing just that.

So tell me..

what do you see when you see me now?

Nausea and vomiting.

I'm really in the dumps right now.

I think I probably caught something cos I haven't been feeling too well today. My tummy feels a little off and I have this acrid bile taste at the back of my throat, which as you might guess, is not very pleasant. The taste makes me feel like puking all day long, but every time i try to throw up nothing happens (Oh, except for that one time after dinner when i did throw up. But i blame that on stuffing my face silly with food).

I'm not sure if this is all just a psychological reaction to me being called for orals, or if I'm really coming down with something. Either way, i hope I'll be able to shake it off by tomorrow cos i really need to hit the books and start another round of coffee-tinted studying madness.

If you've ever been sick during exams before, you'd understand how i feel. You'd understand how absolutely annoying it is trying to fight a losing battle against your own body. In my case, it's especially annoying because I'm so pumped up to revise my 'favoritest' subject in the whole wide world, psychiatry!

Oh well. I guess for now, I'll sleep. There's no point in trying to study when I can't concentrate, just as there is no point in staying awake when i feel so miserable.

Dear sleep, please wash all my worries away~

p/s: If anyone knows how to get rid of nausea, do tell me. Preferably, before tomorrow. Till then, goodnight.