Will you marry me?

I'm 22. That means I'm an adult. It's really hard to imagine myself as such but that's how the world sees me. In truth, i feel no different from how i used to be 5 years ago; heck 10 years ago even. Anyway, what i really meant to talk about is marriage. Being 22 and an adult, i've reached that point in life when my friends are starting to get engaged, tie the knot, build families, get jobs; do all the usual adult-stuff. I for one, am still me, 5 years back, stuck in limbo.

Okay, so the issue of marriage. Now since a good few of our mutual friends are getting hitched, it has sparked quite a debate among us carbrians. I ask most of the silly question, apparently. I don't blame my "housies" if they find me ignorant and ridiculous. I need to know. Like my question about how to be sure if u're considered 'ready' for marriage or not. It's actually a valid question. How do i know if i'm ready? Am i ready now? If not, when will i ever be 'ready'?

They gave solid answers i supposed, but none of which quite sating my curiosity and my need to know. One friend said that if he's the one, things will just be set into place. Everything will be made easy. Yes, yes, i get that. "Jodoh" as they say. Sunnatullah. Our lives are already written for us. And i'm not arguing. There's truth to that and i believe it. Now, another one of my friend said that u're ready when u have enough patience to tolerate a person you've just only met, however annoying they are. Her reasoning, patience is the most important thing in marriage. Okay, there's some truth there, but is patience all there is?? If i'm a patient person, does that mean i'll be a good wife? Maybe. Or maybe not.

They tell me that marriage means i have to be able to sacrifice a lot of things; things like goofing around and such; things considered inappropriate for someone who is married. Yes, that's true. But then again, being an adult, i tell them, aren't we supposed to be acting appropriately for our age, regardless of being married or not? Their logic, to me, seem a bit flawed. Why act mature only after u get married. Act mature now! Stop goofing around now! [not that i'm saying i don't goof around sometimes. This is just for the sake of argument].

Then they tell me, to be married is to be able to put my husband first, in all things. Ahh, again, a good point. Again i agree. But then, how would i know if i am able to do that, if not by getting married first? Beats the whole point of getting ready for marriage if i need to be married to know if i'm ready. Quite the paradox there.

Oh well, maybe i will forever remain clueless on the subject.

A couple of things to highlight:

In the Holy Qur'an, Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Women impure are for men impure.... and women of purity are for men of purity."

(An-Nur 24:26 - Yusuf Ali translation of the meaning).

A popular saying I kinda like (sorry, but this is better worded in Malay. So, if you don't know the language, tough luck):
"Layakkah mendapat suami sehebat Saidina Ali jika tidak setanding Saidatina Fatimah?"

I guess at the end of the day, i just have to make sure that I'm a good Muslimah. Then, like my friend pointed out, things will eventually fall into place. Allah knows best.


"...and to Allah return all matters of decision." (Luqman 31:22)

Scarlet letter.

Dear Random Readers,

You may only know me as Izyan De’ Nerd, the pitiful virtual author of this pathetic blog. Some may even be unlucky enough to have met me face-to-face in real life. For that, I apologise. Anyway, today as a thank you note for hesitantly dropping by and unknowingly increasing my visitors count statistics, I am going to let u all in on a little secret of mine.

Shhh, this is just between us: I’m paranoid!!

No, no, I’m not kidding, it’s true. I really am paranoid. I believe everyone is stalking me, just waiting for the opportune moment to strike when I least expect it. This notion of being stalked keeps me up awake at night and happily lets me fall asleep in class.

Ah, I can hear your sigh of pity and being pathetic as I am, I revel at the thought of people taking an interest in what i say. So anyway, my shrink tells me that for me to be at least remotely functional in the human world, I need to get over my fears of random people trying to kill me. Yes, it’s as tough as it sounds. My crippling fear of the unknown hinders me from accepting the fact that no one actually cares enough to kill “the-insignificant” me.

So, if you random ppl can drop a line once in a while and tell me who u are and that u aren’t trying to kill me (yknow, just to help me get through my day) that’ll be super.

Thank you in advance.

Izyan the sicko.

Of docs and chicken scratch.

"Izyan is on an important and partly dangerous mission to prove to the world that medic students/qualified doctors and terrible handwriting are NOT 2 sides of a coin"

• Today in class, Eileen told me that i've got nice handwriting [happy].
• A few weeks ago, Aine OC said my handwriting is lovely [very happy]
  
• The first day i was in Galway, a senior commented on my handwriting. She said she liked it. [very very happy]
• A couple of years ago, my chemistry teacher asked if she could have my notes after college [extremely happy]
• My bio teacher in college also had the same request and told me i had the nicest and most consistent handwriting she'd ever seen, even in exams. [tremendously happy. I'm an easy girl to please. =)]

Status report: Operation chicken scratch (codenamed : cakar ayam) is progressing smoothly. A doctor's qualification is all i need now for a "mission accomplished"!

Welcome to Antartica~

It's 8 degrees celcius outside. Probably -40 degrees inside.

So here's the thing: we forgot to check our oil level the other day and now we have a severe case of thromboembolus (i.e airlock) somewhere in the heating system. The oil guy we called said he fixed the darn thing. Apparently he didn't. That's EUR300 down the drain. Erghhhh, it's so freaking cold in my room right now, i'd probably turn into a popsicle by tomorrow. And not the delicious kind, mind you. What's worse is that I'd automatically go into hibernation mode at times of heat scarcity cos I can't do anything productive when i'm shivering and my fingers are numb. Which is really fine by me since i pretty much love sleeping. Problem is that i have exams in a couple of weeks and i haven't studied zilch. How am i gonna start now that it's tooo cold????

I'm dead meat.
I.AM.DEAD.POPSICLE.MEAT!!!!

Apa khabar Iman?

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Anda berasa pelik?? Jangan risau, saya juga rasa begitu. Entah mengapa, saya terpanggil untuk menulis sepenuhnya dalam bahasa ibunda pada hari ini. Mungkin ramai yang tahu, penguasaan bahasa melayu formal saya agak lemah, namun itu tidak bermakna saya harus putus asa sebelum mencuba. Saya pasti, setiap usaha yang baik itu pasti ada balasannya yang setimpal.

Baiklah, tajuk penulisan saya pada hari berkisar tentang persahabatan. Kenapa saya memilih untuk bercakap tentang hal ini? Mudah sekali. Saya telah dicabar untuk berfikir oleh kakak-kakak seIslam saya ketika sesi usrah pagi tadi. Mereka membuatkan saya terfikir sejenak tentang akhlak seorang wanita Islam dan hubungannya dengan persahabatan. Apa sebenarnya erti bersahabat buat saya? Adakah sekadar berkawan dengan seseorang yang dianggap sekepala? Adakah sekadar menjadi teman bersuka-ria dan bergelak ketawa?

Hasil perbincangan, saya mula sedar bahawa persahabatan itu sebenarnya sesuatu yang sangat indah sekiranya ia berteraskan keimanan dan kecintaan kepada Allah. Apabila hubungan sesama manusia itu dibasahi keindahan iman dan taqwa, pastinya ukhwah yang terjalin lebih erat dan kukuh ikatannya. Tiada lagi perasaan ragu apabila sahabat itu berbuat baik terhadap kita kerana keyakinan bersama bahawa balasan yang diharapkan bukan bersifat materialistik atau pon duniawi tetapi hanyalah keredhaan yang Esa; keyakinan bahawa setiap perbuatan, tutur kata, nasihat mahupun pertolongan yang dihulurkan oleh sahabat itu diberikan dengan penuh keikhlasan demi kebaikan kedua-dua pihak dan bukan kerana sikap pentingkan diri mahupon kerana perasaan bongkak. Betapa indahnya ukhuwah seperti itu.

Selama ini saya sering berfikir, apa gunanya saya berkawan sekiranya kawan itu mungkin suatu hari nanti menikam saya dari belakang. Maka saya sering mengambil inisiatif bersahabat dengan seseorang dengan disulami perasaan was-was dan penuh syak wasangka agar saya tidak dikecewakan sekiranya sahabat itu bertindak kejam terhadap saya. Syak wasangka ini timbul kerana konsep berkawan tanpa asas yang kukuh iaitu iman. Selama ini mungkin saya terkapai-kapai mencari erti sebenar saya bersahabat. Mungkin saya tidak sedar, apa yang saya cari itu sebenarnya adalah ikatan Ukhuwah Islamiyyah. Alhamdullilah, keindahan ukhuwah itu lah yang saya jumpa di bumi Ireland ini di kalangan saudara-saudara seIslam saya. Alhamdulillah, persahabatan seperti ini sedikit sebanyak mengubah saya menjadi insan yang lebih baik; sahabat yang lebih sejati mungkin. Tiada lagi syak wasangka, jika ada pon, hanya sekelumit rasa yang tidak sama sekali "significant". (maaf, saya tak berjaya memikirkan perkataan melayu yang sesuai)

Saya ingin memetik salah satu cerita yang disampaikan ketika usrah itu:

Hadis yang diriwayatkan oleh Anas bin Malik bahawa Rasulullah bersabda:
“Ada seseorang berada di samping Rasulullah lalu salah seorang sahabat berlalu di depannya. Orang yang disamping Rasulullah tadi berkata: ‘Aku mencintai dia, ya Rasulullah.’ Lalu Nabi menjawab: ‘Apakah kamu telah memberitahukan kepadanya?’ Orang tersebut menjawab: ‘Belum.’ Kemudian Rasulullah bersabda: ‘Beritahukan kepadanya.’ Lalu orang tersebut menghampiri sahabatnya seraya berkata: ‘ Sesungguhnya aku mencintaimu kerana Allah.’ Kemudian sahabatnya itu menjawab: ‘Semoga Allah mencintaimu kerana engkau mencintaiku kerana-Nya.”

Indah. Sungguh indah persahabatan kerana Allah. Saya berdoa agar saya mampu menjadi sahabat seperti itu, yang mencintai sahabatnya yang lain kerana Allah. Dan mungkin benar, iman itu ada turun naiknya. Ada kalanya saya lupa seketika maksud ukhuwah Islamiyyah ini. Tegurlah saya, ingatkanlah saya, nasihatilah saya. Marilah sahabat-sahabat, kita bersama-sama mengejar kemanisan syurga. Semoga Allah sentiasa menetapkan hati-hati kita semua ini di atas keimanan yang kukuh. InsyaAllah.