Gossip Girl~

I heard from the grapevine that people have been digging into my private life, earnestly scavenging through the mess looking for hidden treasures~ (Oh you people must be so bored of your own lives to gossip about mine, aren't ya?)

Some are even bold enough to ask me personally. Hahahaha.. i applaud the courage but you must forgive me if I fail to resist the temptation to pull a leg here and there.

C'mon now! I may be an open book most of the time, and you may think you know everything there is to know about me because I happen to tell you about my (imaginary) wedding date, but let's face some facts.

1. Everyone (and i do mean EVERYONE!) knows i dream of getting hitched by Nov of 2011. You're not special in that respect.
2. My life is boring. Go and gossip about your local newspaper boy. I can bet you my pinky finger that his secrets are juicier than mine.
3. If u have any burning questions regarding my love life, don't ask my friends. Contrary to popular belief, i don't tell them everything.
   

So there.

Any further questions can be directed to my secretary, or you can also ring this toll-free hotline for assistance: 1800-mind-ur-own-business!

Thank you.

Oh heart~

They smile at me and say, "Come with us and we'll show you things you know u've been yearning to see." And I tell them, "I'll think about it. But my answer is most probably a No."

They look at me with sad eyes, and i instantly feel the heavy weight of guilt pressing down on me.

So in an attempt to save myself, i say to them, "I'm sorry. Eventho I know what's right and wrong, i find it difficult to do what i know i should be doing. Maybe it hasn't reached me yet."

"It has reached you, dear," they tell me. "But you somehow keep refusing to accept it, and we don't know why."

They said it so quietly, so carefully. As if treading softly on calm waters.

And i come to the awful realization,
that it isn't me who's sick...

..... it's my heart~

Boy, u're tall!

I learned something rather amusing today. It seems that you can estimate the height of your children using some very crude mathematical calculations devised by the weird people in paediatrics. I don't know the validity of this claim (Kebar insists it's true.... hmmm~) but i see no harm in trying it out. And since Kebar and Arsyad were the only 2 available male victims in my study group, I used their height to tease out an estimation.

Now, before anyone gets any suspicious ideas, the things I'll be writing in the next couple of paragraphs are purely hypothetical, and in no way should you treat them as truth.

Got that? Yes? Okay, good!

So, if i had a hypothetical son with Kebar who is 179cm (my, u're tall!), our hypothetical kid would grow up to be 182cm. If it were a girl, she'd be 168cm (Wahhhh.... tinggi sungguh anak-anak kami~ =P).

If i were to have an imaginary kid with Arsyad who is a good 3cm shorter than me at 168cm, then our son would turn out to be 176.5cm (I was quite surprised at that), and our daughter would be 162.5cm (which is probably a bit on the shorter side, but tall enough i suppose).

We had a pretty good laugh afterwards!! Gosh, just imagine a bunch of nerdy med students hunched over a piece of scrap paper, excitedly calculating their non-existent-children's heights~ (Oh how awfully lame~ Hahahaha) .

But anyways, lame as it was, i felt the urge to test the theory out on real human data. So i used my parents' heights to see how tall i was supposed to turn out had this mathematical equation really been true.

And Surprise surprise!!!! I'm 10cm taller than what it says I should be. Hmmm..

You don't need to be a genius to see how this thing is scientifically worthless. And thus, we can all safely dump that horrible excuse for a theory into the wastebasket and never talk about it ever again!

The End!

p/s: Just in case u're curious, this is how u calculate: (Father's height + Mother's Height)/2. Then you add 7 to that if it's a boy and subtract 7 if it's a girl. Simple, ne? Good luck!

Death.

"Every soul shall have taste of death; In the end to us shall ye be brought back"

(Al-'Ankabut 29:57)

Being attached to the palliative team meant we were constantly seeing people at the far end of their lives, battling whatever pathology they had with gusto only to be told that their time on earth was limited and that the doctors were helpless to do anything but help alleviate their physical pain; making the remnants of their existence just slightly more comfortable.

(And maybe pray for a miracle to happen.)

You may perhaps consider it morbid to impart the knowledge of one's mortality to them face to face. Yet somehow i like to think it is the most humane thing to do - to address it head on without those well-meant but horrible white lies. Lies that give patients and their families false hopes, only to crush those hopes into splintering pieces that cut them deep when the blowing force of truth can no longer be held back.

But then again, what do i know?

During my week with the team, I was required to present a case history so i went up to see one of the patients on the palliative care list. He was a middle-aged man who had a very aggressive type of lung cancer.

He was dying and we both knew it.

I didn't stay with him long. The silent war with death he was battling was too much for me to take. So i gathered whatever info i needed from him, said my thanks and good luck, and walked away not really keen on looking back at his sad face.

I honestly don't know what i got from that experience or what life lessons i learned. But the thing i left with as i walked out of the hospital doors that day was the image of a broken man; his slow, pained voice echoing softly through the quiet, unforgiving antiseptic-smelling hallways and the mutual yet devastating knowledge that this person's life was ebbing away as the seconds ticked by.

His anguished eyes, especially, still haunts me at night sometimes.

I know I'll be seeing more of this in the future, and i know death is inevitable, yet somehow it still manages to shake my spirits to the core; still manages to tug invisible strings that catches my breath.

And I know in time, i would probably be hardened to such pain and misery. I would probably be numbed to the sufferings. I would be able to dismiss a patient's death as yet another number, a statistic, without so much as flinching.

But for now at least, I'm happy i still feel that small, little twinge in my heart cos it tells me that I am only just human~

Dr, what's my diagnosis?

So here's the deal. I was bugged all day today (even now) with a weird pain in my right arm. However, due to its nature (uncomfortable, yet very mild), i don't see any reason to worry. But since it was there and and i was bored, and we had a lot of corridor time to kill while waiting for the consultant who took forever poring over patient charts, I asked Anie to take a history off of me (We need the practice anyway).

And her diagnosis was: VOILA! Neuropathic pain~

I wasn't really convinced, so I decided to get a second opinion from Dr Farhana. This is one (future) doctor i know i can bet my last penny on.

(But I can be wrong sometimes too. LOL~)

Anyway, here's a snippet of the consultation session i had with her:
(Some contents have been edited to protect patient's confidentiality~)

Dr Farhana: Describe the pain.
Izyan Ramdan: It's a dull generalized pain
Izyan Ramdan: It's aggravated by touch, heat, cold, and gravity.
Izyan Ramdan: And it's always there.
Dr Farhana: Radiation? Severity?
Izyan Ramdan: Radiates from above the elbow to the the fingers
Izyan Ramdan: It's worst at the distal biceps and dorsal portion of the hand.
Izyan Ramdan: Severity 2 /10
Izyan Ramdan: I'm not on any medications
Dr Farhana: Okay
Izyan Ramdan: No hx of serious medical conditions.
Izyan Ramdan: Non smoker
Izyan Ramdan: And I don't drink alcohol
Dr Farhana: (patient ni takyah tanye die dah bagi detail hx)
Izyan Ramdan: hahahahaha
Dr Farhana: hahahahaha
Izyan Ramdan: What else do u need to know, Dr?
Dr Farhana: yes... are u married?
Izyan Ramdan: I'm single
Izyan Ramdan: but i plan to get married 11/11/11
Dr Farhana: hahahahahahaha
Dr Farhana: (tak tanye pon)
Izyan Ramdan: Any other questions, Dr?
Dr Farhana: who do u live with at home?
Izyan Ramdan: my plant Yuuki, and 4 other ppl
Izyan Ramdan: So Dr, what's my diagnosis?
Dr Farhana: hmmm
Dr Farhana: "mengade"ness!!!
Izyan Ramdan: HAHAHAHA
Dr Farhana: hahhahahahaha

Oh well, i think i can live with that~ ^___^

Cows with guns~

This is a post dedicated to a guy who likes to make life miserable for me. I won't name names, so I'll just call him Mr. A (A for annoying!). Normally, i'd try to avoid writing about other people on my blog, but Mr A was really asking for it. (Somehow I get this tingling suspicion that he finds pleasure in making me seethe with fury~).

Okay, now where should i start?

Hmmmm..... Let's see. Come to think of it, it's probably not such a great idea after all for me to list all the nasty things Mr. A has done to me, cos it's gonna take me ages (Oh yes, the list goes on forever!). And since I don't plan on wasting too much of my precious blog space nor my time on him, I'll just focus on the annoying thing he did today.

You see, due to reasons i will not dwell on right now, Mr. A has labeled me a cow~ (Yes sir! Mr A is both annoying AND mean!! A very deadly combination!). And true to form, Mr. A gave me a cow song this morning. You can all have a look at it and decide for yourself how mean Mr A is to me.

The song is called cows with guns. Apparently, Mr A has this twisted notion that I'm the "Great Cow Guru" mentioned in the song, even after i repeatedly shrieked at him to stop calling me that! (Sigh~ This is the sort of silliness i have to put up with on a daily basis).

Oh well, in any case, kudos to Mr. A for that valiant effort to annoy me with such a horrific song. It worked. You've definitely ruined my otherwise great Saturday~

(@____@') Ohhh, kepala pusing~ [Mr. A, please grow up!]

p/s: I hate to admit this, but the song's actually kinda cute~ hehehe. (but shhhh... don't tell him i said that). AND NO, I'M NOT A COW!!!

Cashback.

There's a system here in Ireland that i like. It's called cashback.

So here's how it works: When you're out doing your grocery shopping and you're ready to pay, just slide your debit card into this handy machine they have at the checkout counter, tap in your 4-digit pin, ask the cashier for some cashback, wait for the transaction to process, and then voila! Instant cash!

You can ask for any amount that you like. Any day of the week. Any time of the day. It's THAT simple! Easy-peasy cash in the blink of an eye!

It's fun cos it tricks your brain into thinking that you get money instead of losing money when you buy stuff (what a lovely paradox they've put together, ne?). Hehehe... In truth, you're only withdrawing money from your own bank account. And yes, they still charge your debit card for the groceries you bought. (Nothing's free, okay!). It's basically similar to the concept of drawing money from the ATM; only with cashback, you do it as you shop.

A few things to note tho:

1. Cashback only works in certain outlets (eg: Dunnes).
2. A healthy reservoir of money in your bank account is preferable.
3. No debit card, no cashback.
   

Which brings me to my story of the day:

Me and my friend, A (identiti dirahsiakan) were out on a date~ We planned on having a semi-romantic lunch out in town, just the two of us. On the way to the restaurant, we stopped at a store cos A wanted to get something (i can't remember what).

After grabbing the stuff A wanted, off A went to the takeout line, whips out a €10 note to pay for the purchase, then remembered that A needed cash for lunch. So without batting an eyelid, A calmly asked the cashier for a €20 cashback, completely forgetting that one needs to pay with a debit card to do that.

The cashier looked at A, confused. And A looked at the cashier, feeling sorry for him. "Gosh, this cashier kid must be new here," A mused. "He doesn't even know what cashback is. He's probably from Poland"

But before A had the chance to teach the young cashier a lesson or two about cashback, A was cut off mid sentence with this: "I'm sorry, but you can't ask for a €20 cashback when you pay with €10 CASH."

(D'OH!!!!!)

(=___=') <----- This is A speechless~

And yes, it was hilarious!!!

I couldn't stop laughing the whole bus trip back from lunch. Sorry A, but i just had to write about this. When cashback becomes a hit in Malaysia some time in the next decade or so, i'll look back at this post, and i'll remember you!!

And yes, i wud probably still laugh my head off then.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Don't poke me please!

The fun thing about clinical attachments is that we get to do procedures on patients. (Weeee~) And since I love working with my hands (i.e: poke and prod people), this is the time for me to shine~

Now, one of the things listed on our clinical checklist is to place an IV cannula. For those non-medics out there, that simply translates to poking one of your veins with a needle and placing a slender tube into it so that big, mean, scary nurses can flush a whole concoction of stuff into your body as you watch helplessly. =P

I've seen a fair bit of iv cannulas being placed into patients by doctors in the emergency department. But for some mad reason, these same doctors don't seem to trust me enough to let me try one on a patient. 2 whole weeks in the emergency department, and all i got to do was observe. (dang!)

Since they won't let me do it on patients (yet), me and fellow 1st-time-iv-cannula-placers decided to practice on ourselves (under the watchful eyes of a qualified doctor of cos). And my first victim of the day was Anie!! Hahahaha, I bet she was scared silly that i was the one doing it on her. But guess what? I managed to place the thing in one go! YAY for me!!!!

Then, the tables were turned and I had to volunteer my veins. (Erk....)

I hate to admit this, but the thought of a needle being pushed roughly into my skin makes me squirm like a little girl. I have no problem poking needles into others. I just get mightily nervous when it's the other way around and I'm the one on the hotseat.

So I said to my friends in a rather serious tone (to not give away the fact that i was actually petrified), "I don't think i'd be a good guinea pig. My veins are kinda hard to find." (which is not entirely truthful~).

Ahhh, but then the doctor (bless her kind heart) proceeded to place a tourniquet over my arm, prodded my skin here and there and promptly declared that my veins were juicy and straight enough to be poked at by 1st timers!

(arghhhh, stress!)

So in the end i did volunteer my veins, twice! (Huhuhuhu.. my poor veins~). My friend who was playing the part of the cool doctor said "Izyan, kalau takut jangan tengok while i do this". What??? Of cos i have to tengok! What if you missed and poke my artery instead?? NO WAY, darling will i let you poke me without me watching. Hahaha.. i was the patient suffering from a horrible case of paranoia. (btw, it hurt okay!)

But i survived the ordeal. And all is well.

I've got another iv cannulation practice scheduled for today.
Let's just pray my veins will be spared this time around. (*wink)

We will not go down!

"We will not go down"
This is a song of hope for the Palestinians in Gaza
(Composed and performed by Michael Heart, Copyright 2009)

A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they're dead or alive

They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who's wrong or right

But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
You can still hear that voice through the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight

We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

p/s: I'm cheating out on a real entry, aren't i? (Ohh busy busy~)