Summertime.

I'm in a pickle.

Here's the thing, on a split second whim, i decided to apply for a summer research project this year. It was never on my long term plan, mostly because i never thought it was on anyone else's. 

Apparently i was dead wrong on that particular assumption. 

While i deliriously charted my 3-months course towards becoming a full-fledged glutton/couch potato/slug, the rest of the population were embarking on cool projects to get them ahead in the vocational war. Yes people, getting a job here after med school isn't as easy as you may think. Those hardworking jerks people (i.e my classmates) will do almost anything to get an extra 'WOW' factor which will separate them from me the rest of the measly bunch.

And i do mean anything! That includes working their perky behinds off throughout the whole summer break on a less than pleasant working environment and only on the barest of minimum wages. They're willing to toil all day long (and yes, summer days ARE loooong) on spread sheets and patient charts just so that they'll have black and white proof on their CV that they once survived slavery with their lives and more importantly, their sanity, intact. 

And seeing how I'm a horrible kiasu and all, i got very tingly knowing i was potentially gonna be among the small group of nobodies who never tasted the coppery tang of modern-day slavery.

"You must be crazy, Izzy." is what u're probably thinking right now. 

But ahhh, what you don't know is that being an experienced slave means i would have a chance in the running for a 2-year job scheme later in my career- one which would have overlooked me had i simply gotten first class honors in my finals without any slave experiences.

So that said, i went to apply for a vascular research project late last month even though I've bought my ticket home for the summer. I applied for it even though i was eager to see my bro after 3 years; even though i was excited to finally get my hands on a REAL playStation controller, and watch REAL TV, and eat REAL food, and yada yada .... (the list goes on forever).  

Kiasu as i am, i decided to push ahead with this madness. 

And so here i am today, - a week away from my final exams, less than a month away from starting the project - desperately homesick.

You see, that's the little part in my spur-of-the-moment decision i failed to consider - the emotional factor. I never thought the idea of not going home for the summer hols would struck me this hard, this bad, this soon. 

But it has.

That's why I'M IN A PICKLE...

A small, dried up, distressed pickle.

And i don't know what to do~