Will you marry me?

I'm 22. That means I'm an adult. It's really hard to imagine myself as such but that's how the world sees me. In truth, i feel no different from how i used to be 5 years ago; heck 10 years ago even. Anyway, what i really meant to talk about is marriage. Being 22 and an adult, i've reached that point in life when my friends are starting to get engaged, tie the knot, build families, get jobs; do all the usual adult-stuff. I for one, am still me, 5 years back, stuck in limbo.

Okay, so the issue of marriage. Now since a good few of our mutual friends are getting hitched, it has sparked quite a debate among us carbrians. I ask most of the silly question, apparently. I don't blame my "housies" if they find me ignorant and ridiculous. I need to know. Like my question about how to be sure if u're considered 'ready' for marriage or not. It's actually a valid question. How do i know if i'm ready? Am i ready now? If not, when will i ever be 'ready'?

They gave solid answers i supposed, but none of which quite sating my curiosity and my need to know. One friend said that if he's the one, things will just be set into place. Everything will be made easy. Yes, yes, i get that. "Jodoh" as they say. Sunnatullah. Our lives are already written for us. And i'm not arguing. There's truth to that and i believe it. Now, another one of my friend said that u're ready when u have enough patience to tolerate a person you've just only met, however annoying they are. Her reasoning, patience is the most important thing in marriage. Okay, there's some truth there, but is patience all there is?? If i'm a patient person, does that mean i'll be a good wife? Maybe. Or maybe not.

They tell me that marriage means i have to be able to sacrifice a lot of things; things like goofing around and such; things considered inappropriate for someone who is married. Yes, that's true. But then again, being an adult, i tell them, aren't we supposed to be acting appropriately for our age, regardless of being married or not? Their logic, to me, seem a bit flawed. Why act mature only after u get married. Act mature now! Stop goofing around now! [not that i'm saying i don't goof around sometimes. This is just for the sake of argument].

Then they tell me, to be married is to be able to put my husband first, in all things. Ahh, again, a good point. Again i agree. But then, how would i know if i am able to do that, if not by getting married first? Beats the whole point of getting ready for marriage if i need to be married to know if i'm ready. Quite the paradox there.

Oh well, maybe i will forever remain clueless on the subject.

A couple of things to highlight:

In the Holy Qur'an, Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Women impure are for men impure.... and women of purity are for men of purity."

(An-Nur 24:26 - Yusuf Ali translation of the meaning).

A popular saying I kinda like (sorry, but this is better worded in Malay. So, if you don't know the language, tough luck):
"Layakkah mendapat suami sehebat Saidina Ali jika tidak setanding Saidatina Fatimah?"

I guess at the end of the day, i just have to make sure that I'm a good Muslimah. Then, like my friend pointed out, things will eventually fall into place. Allah knows best.


"...and to Allah return all matters of decision." (Luqman 31:22)