Barriers

It was an awkward dinner.

I tried hard not to stare while he danced his vision ever so slightly trying to catch my stolen ogling. He smiled a knowing smile, and i lowered my gaze and blushed at the idea of being caught red-handed.

"Can i ask you a question," he asked suddenly.

"ye...yes?" i stammered, taken completely off guard. His eyes bore deep into my conscience, his expression both delightfully quizzical and deadly serious at the same time.

I didn't want to keep my hopes up, lest he'll tear it down with unintentional cruelty. But i couldn't help holding my breath, silently wishing he'd say them - those secret words I've dreamt of hearing.

Instead, he curled his lips into a half smile, hung his head down slightly and sighed. "Nevermind," he breathed. "It's not important."

NOOO! I wanted to scream and kick and shout.
NOO! Keep going. You were doing fine! I wanted to reassure him.
Just say it, silly! I can't say Yes unless you ask!! I sounded almost desperate in my head.

And while my mind was waging this horrible war of what to say, my lips said 'Okay' instead. The word smoothly glided over my tongue before i could stop it from coming.

With that, the moment was discarded into the bin like an unwanted gift.

The rest of the night was a painful blur of idle chitchat and sweet desserts. And then, it was over. He sent me home like any gentleman should, and i said my thanks, like any lady would.

In the end, we were both fools who never made it pass those barriers.