If you must know, backtracking on things you've written in the past isn't a lovely experience. It displays your flaws out in the open where exposure to the elements makes it ugly, rusty and tarnished. Like a piece of silver that has lost it's luster. And the fact that my flaws aren't exactly sparkling silver to begin with......
....well, let's just say it's not pretty.
Anyway, there's a consistent pattern to my writings, i noticed.
I seem to rant and rave a lot. I give torrents of unrelenting words with no substance and rippling of disastrous accounts no one really wants to know. Sometimes i brag about things not worthy of bragging, sometimes i'm too happy and too cynical, and sometimes i grieve just a little.
Given, we all have different ways of handling emotions. Me, i write. But as you might realize (assuming u've been paying attention) is that I write in codes, and that I'm all smoke and mirrors. I say things i don't really mean when what i really want to say gets hidden under layers of euphemisms and understatements. And then there's the odd times when i really have nothing at all to say but still manage to exaggerate way over the roof.
It's funny, because i figured that when i backtrack on my posts, it'll give me good memories of old times. Instead, i seem to find myself confused on more than half of these occasions.
"What the heck was i trying to get at? Who was i talking about again? Was i drunk when i wrote that?"
haha. Sometimes, i do remember though. And i'd blush, hoping with all my might that whatever i spilled in the past never haunts me in the future, and that people I've been ranting about (in codes, of course) never finds out it was them i had been talking about all along. *blush lagi*
It's funny, because i figured that when i backtrack on my posts, it'll give me good memories of old times. Instead, i seem to find myself confused on more than half of these occasions.
"What the heck was i trying to get at? Who was i talking about again? Was i drunk when i wrote that?"
haha. Sometimes, i do remember though. And i'd blush, hoping with all my might that whatever i spilled in the past never haunts me in the future, and that people I've been ranting about (in codes, of course) never finds out it was them i had been talking about all along. *blush lagi*
I think everyone has a fair share of creativeness. No wait, scrap that. I think creativity is biasedly distributed in the population. And i'm one of the unlucky few with very limited reservoir of this valuable intangible asset. At this point in time, I've almost used up all my limited share of creative juices. I probably won't be able to come up with anything interesting anymore to write about.
So should I keep writing, i wonder?
So should I keep writing, i wonder?
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