Trust me, I'm a doctor.

It's been about 5 weeks since i started this job.

It's pretty simple really.

I pore through patient charts.

I pick up on whatever diseases they have;

if they've had any surgeries;

if they've had the misfortune of falling on their heads as babies.

I see if they're married, divorced or widowed.

I take note of how many children they have (if any);

or if they remained single to the ripe old age of 80.

I track where they live;

where they work;

the kind of jobs they do.

I take note of their mobile number,

their home phone number,

their work number.

I chart their alcohol intake;

their drug intake;

their smoking habits.

I'm only stopped short where their bank account numbers are concerned (unfortunately that's the only interesting info not found in thick patient charts, dang it!).

If i really wanted to though, i could con all these people with all the info i do have. I could visit them at work and blackmail them. Or I could call their families up at home and demand a ransom of 1mil to get their loved ones released from the secret dungeon under the hospital where i keep them chained.

But i'm a good girl, so i dont even begin imagining doing such a thing. I'm serious, cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye!!

No wait, don't do that.

That was a white lie. Okay, I admit I do entertain the thought sometimes. But that's just cos I'm forced into persistent slavery, working long shifts till my eyes become red like a zombie and my butt freezes flat on those awfully stiff office chairs.

The pay is bad, the work tedious, the handwriting atrocious.

So who can blame me then, when it's all in the name of science!!

p/s: My new favorite word is OXYMORON.