Changing times

Zits Comic for 08/26/2009

This is the second time I'm home for the summer.

Somehow in the span of 7 weeks, a lot of things have changed. Bro is now officially a 9 to 5 office worker; There's this new (not quite creative looking) RM50 note around; Both my sisters beat me in owning a Radley handbag (Paid with their own money, shocker!! To think I've been saving up for one of those since forever and still haven't managed to buy one); An odd looking space-shuttle-type massage contraption has taken home in my parents' bedroom; And then of course, there's my parents.

They're not different in any obvious way, but they're certainly not the same.

My parents - like most 'modern' parents - are starting to catch on to the new wave of social networking frenzy. That may not seem so startling, times being what they are. But as innocent as Facebook is, it has become some sort of fuel for their recently-developed fiery interest in seeing us siblings working on tying the knot - my elder bro and I specifically.

Pictures, in particular, are the doom of us. For example, my parents stumbled upon a picture on Facebook of my bro and his ex at a wedding. Cute girl. A doctor. Dad seems to have a particularly liking to this delicate-looking lady. He keeps pushing buttons and teasing bro, who acts bored and annoyed, when i really think Bro actually enjoys all the attention.

"We're broken up. It's over." He tells us. "Can't you people cut it out already?" Man, he has no sense of humor when it comes to affairs of the heart. Or probably, with only him and my youngest sister (who is barely 13) around, he's an easy target and has, understandably, grown a bit weary of the playful badgering.

Now that I'm home though, my bro can heave a sigh of relief because the parents have shifted their ruthless attack on me. I, however, am more political when dealing with my dad's good-natured teasing. "Hey, that guy doesn't look too bad for you," he'll say, referring to a picture of a male friend he sees on my Facebook page. Who, him??? Hahaha, no way on earth is that ever gonna happen.

But to dad, i just smile. "Maybe," I say.

And sometimes, just to show how serious they are about this whole marrying business, they'll do something absolutely unexpected. Like the other day when Mom pulled me into one Gulati's store along Jalan Tunku Abdur Rahman to buy clothes for my sister. Once inside, she innocently asked me if i wanted to have a look at the bridal section.

"What for?" i ask with a raised eyebrow, suspicious.

"Just for fun," she replies casually, acting like normal people do it all the time without a second thought. "Besides, we'll have to browse through this section anyway some time in the near future. What's wrong with now?"

"Yes, you're absolutely right Mom," I try to humor her. "I'm gonna settle down eventually. In the next five years, that is." I say the last sentence under my breath, hoping she wouldn't hear me.

"Five?" My mom gave me this incredulous look of mock disbelieve, her voice a pitch higher than usual. Uh oh. Busted.

"Errr. I mean three," i say, with more caution this time.

She doesn't look at all satisfied with that. Dang it, this was going to be tough. I needed an answer that would both satisfy her and still be plausible enough not to sound like a desperate lie.

"Two?" I finally say, after giving a few seconds of contemplative thought.

"Yeah, two is better," she replies, as if i have the power to control destiny.

"There's really no point in waiting too long," she continues, although I've told her countless times I haven't anyone special (yet).

"The sooner the better. If not, all the good guys would already be taken, and you'll have no one left for you except con-men," she says.

"Oh, and ex-convicts," she adds, just for good measure - very obviously using terror to try to subdue me to her will.

I can't help but laugh.

...........................................................................

Just as an afterthought:

The only conceivable reason i can come up with for my parents insistence on me or bro marrying A.S.A.P is that they can't wait to kick either one us out of the house. Then only will they be able to renovate our rooms into a walk-in closet like those you see in the mansions of superstars. (Ha ha ha)

Or maybe, just maybe, they can't wait to start a new phase in their lives i.e the doting parent-in-laws, although i highly doubt this. (Another Ha ha ha)

Truth is, i have no idea why they want us married off. But either way, if i don't find my prince charming (or he, me) in the next 2 years, I'm absolutely screwed.

Bummer.