Only when the last tree is cut;
Only when the last river is polluted;
Only when the last fish is caught;
Only then will they realize that you can't eat money.
-Cree tribe (circa 1860)-
Whenever people (especially those makciks and pakciks back home in Malaysia) realize that I'm a med student who is on her merry way to becoming a doctor, they'd gush all over me saying stuff like how clever i am, how noble of me to choose a career that in essence will help people, how beautiful and sweet i am (okay, they didn't say that last part, but i wish they would~) etc etc. I'd smile (like i always do when in the presence of elders whom i secretly want to smack some sense into), say thank you and pray that they'll just shut up already.
Hmmm.. that may seem a lil too harsh. But that's how i felt.
Nevertheless, I can't really blame people for stereotyping doctors (or doctors-to-be) as angels who'd fallen from heaven. I can't really yell at them to stop being so naive and start realizing that the world is made up of money-crazed individualistic people whose sole purpose in life is to live in financial bliss.
And so, I let them do all the gushing they want and during the process, i insidiously drown in guilt. Why guilt, u ask? Well, to be perfectly honest, my motivation to becoming a doctor was anything but noble or selfless. In fact, it was a very selfish decision on my part. I just wanted the job security and to a lesser extend, the added bonuses and perks of holding a job that's revered by people who don't know better. My choice had nothing to do with helping others, nor has it anything to do with the challenge of changing the world or anything idealistic like that. I simply wanted stability - both financially and socially.
But people change. I changed.
Where i used to live a life of sheltered innocence (mostly by the way i was raised), I'm now beginning to get a taste what real life is. I'm starting to see the world in a different light, and it's not all sweet and cherry. It's full of suffering, laden with conflicts, filled with stuff i used to hear about in the news without much thought because somehow i couldn't relate to it. That's what living in a safe, warm cocoon does to you. It makes you oblivious to the suffering of others; it makes you ignorant and blinded by what you have and what you own. But that's no longer true for me. I admit, i still want all the things i wanted before but now, i also want more.
Because believe it or not, everything that's happening in the world affects us in some way or another! The malnourished children of Africa, the internally displaced people of Nepal and Myanmar, people affected by natural disasters or conflicts, those living in extreme poverty without basic necessities most of us take for granted like clean water and shelter. There will always be people who need our help, so we have a duty to help them. We have to do something, however small.
With this revelation, i'm thankful i chose a life in medicine (even if my initial decision to embark on this journey was in no way inspiring). I'm thankful that by choosing to become a doctor, i can someday, somehow, use my knowledge for the greater good (however cliché that may sound). And i hope to achieve this without falling into the trap of being too idealistic or too naive.
I know i can't change the world in a day; And i know life isn't always fair and square; And i know i can't just up and leave to save those poor souls in war-torn countries and expect everything to go the way i want it. In the end, i know probably won't make much difference anyway, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't at least try. It's those little things we do in life that will add up to something big. So if everyone plays their part, i'm positive we'll get there. Someday. And hopefully sooner rather than later. That's what i believe~
A special thanks to DOD for being so inspirational!
You've changed my life. Thank you.
And yes Emy, i almost cried. ALMOST!! but didn't!!
(please don't start weird rumours)
Teah, happy birthday.
Hope you like the gift.
Mom, get well soon!
Love you, MUAH!
Only when the last river is polluted;
Only when the last fish is caught;
Only then will they realize that you can't eat money.
-Cree tribe (circa 1860)-
Whenever people (especially those makciks and pakciks back home in Malaysia) realize that I'm a med student who is on her merry way to becoming a doctor, they'd gush all over me saying stuff like how clever i am, how noble of me to choose a career that in essence will help people, how beautiful and sweet i am (okay, they didn't say that last part, but i wish they would~) etc etc. I'd smile (like i always do when in the presence of elders whom i secretly want to smack some sense into), say thank you and pray that they'll just shut up already.
Hmmm.. that may seem a lil too harsh. But that's how i felt.
Nevertheless, I can't really blame people for stereotyping doctors (or doctors-to-be) as angels who'd fallen from heaven. I can't really yell at them to stop being so naive and start realizing that the world is made up of money-crazed individualistic people whose sole purpose in life is to live in financial bliss.
And so, I let them do all the gushing they want and during the process, i insidiously drown in guilt. Why guilt, u ask? Well, to be perfectly honest, my motivation to becoming a doctor was anything but noble or selfless. In fact, it was a very selfish decision on my part. I just wanted the job security and to a lesser extend, the added bonuses and perks of holding a job that's revered by people who don't know better. My choice had nothing to do with helping others, nor has it anything to do with the challenge of changing the world or anything idealistic like that. I simply wanted stability - both financially and socially.
But people change. I changed.
Where i used to live a life of sheltered innocence (mostly by the way i was raised), I'm now beginning to get a taste what real life is. I'm starting to see the world in a different light, and it's not all sweet and cherry. It's full of suffering, laden with conflicts, filled with stuff i used to hear about in the news without much thought because somehow i couldn't relate to it. That's what living in a safe, warm cocoon does to you. It makes you oblivious to the suffering of others; it makes you ignorant and blinded by what you have and what you own. But that's no longer true for me. I admit, i still want all the things i wanted before but now, i also want more.
I want to be able to help.
Because believe it or not, everything that's happening in the world affects us in some way or another! The malnourished children of Africa, the internally displaced people of Nepal and Myanmar, people affected by natural disasters or conflicts, those living in extreme poverty without basic necessities most of us take for granted like clean water and shelter. There will always be people who need our help, so we have a duty to help them. We have to do something, however small.
With this revelation, i'm thankful i chose a life in medicine (even if my initial decision to embark on this journey was in no way inspiring). I'm thankful that by choosing to become a doctor, i can someday, somehow, use my knowledge for the greater good (however cliché that may sound). And i hope to achieve this without falling into the trap of being too idealistic or too naive.
I know i can't change the world in a day; And i know life isn't always fair and square; And i know i can't just up and leave to save those poor souls in war-torn countries and expect everything to go the way i want it. In the end, i know probably won't make much difference anyway, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't at least try. It's those little things we do in life that will add up to something big. So if everyone plays their part, i'm positive we'll get there. Someday. And hopefully sooner rather than later. That's what i believe~
++When we heal the world, we heal ourselves++
A special thanks to DOD for being so inspirational!
You've changed my life. Thank you.
And yes Emy, i almost cried. ALMOST!! but didn't!!
(please don't start weird rumours)
Teah, happy birthday.
Hope you like the gift.
Mom, get well soon!
Love you, MUAH!
13 comments:
I read your entry with Daughtry's What About Now ringing in my ears.
I've once watched the vc with tears flowing down my cheeks.
Once.
Nope. Wait.
Still does sometimes.
Yup. Totally agree. It wasn't all about money :)
As Takeshi Kaneshiro puts it, money is not the root to all evil.
People are.
p/s: it's Robert Kiyosaki [rich dad poor dad series] lah.. not TK :P
Change the world by helping others around you. Ur right, not just upping urself and going to another country, but wherever u are, be it Malaysia, Ireland, Kenya, Iraq, help others around you. Maybe by a smile, maybe by a simple 'hi' would suffice. You'll be amazed by how much that will change the world.
Read 'From Beirut to Jerusalem' to get your fire started up again =)
Izyan yang comel!
Aween nie~~I accidentally bumped into your blog! Ya Allah, lamenye tak dengar kabar korang..ko, teah, emi, yan etc etc..Korang sihat?
Nice blog anyway..I read from A-Z!hihi~ Oh yes, my reason to become a doctor = I just love talking to people..And by talking, i believe i touch their lives..Seeing my patients smile are good enuf to brigthen up my tiring days at hosp =)
p/s : kensalam sayang to all the girls~ =D
lemonvanilla - if Takeshi Kaneshiro had said that, i'd fall in love with him all over again~ hehehe..
Anonymous - A smile is a sedekah, aite? Smile and the world will smile with you~ [pssst, instead of anonymous, a name would be nice]
Aween~~~ - Meh la dtg galway if you miss us. Pintu Carbry House sentiasa terbuka utk korang. =)
Hihi sure will izyan-chan!
p/s: Izyan, i remember you promoting to me how handsome takeshi kaneshiro was dlm cite ape ntah, luar toilet kmb, while i was gosok baju kurung..hihi comel =P
haha. what's in a name? just an identity outside against the soft fibers of your true being. so name's not really important, so long as the essence of your soul is transmitted =)
Aween [a.k.a Msme]~ jgnlah bukak cerita itu.. malu i~ hahaha. Btw, i cant believe you still remember that, i'v been racking my brain silly and still can't remember when i did something so shameless (in front of the toilet pulak tu!). haha.
anonymous - if you say so. =(
[i still think your soul would hv been better transmitted had i known ur name]
could u take a guess?
by the way, good luck for ur exams =)
Haha.. thanks for the clue.
Obviously u're from galway. how else would you know tht i have a test tomorrow? hmmm.. I'm guessing u're a girl, 5th med?
am i right?
why would u assume im a girl?
ahhh, so i see that i got the 5th med part correct, ne?
Hmm... i just think a girl would most likely be reading stuff other girls write about.
Boys (i'm pretty sure) have their own way of checking out the competition. lol =P
haha. its fun letting u swin in ur own fantasies. lets just say im a galwegian, but doesnt mean im a girl, and doesnt mean im malaysian, and doesnt mean im 5th med. haha. u can stop guessing. takes the fun out of this if i reveal meself.
Oh well, up to you then.
I'm just happy people take the time to comment. =)
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